Monday, February 09, 2009

Rather painful times and tidings…

Time for change? Not a question of choice anymore! :(

Being black/white and honestly expressive driven by the old value system - in this ***ked up world isn’t going to help me for sure! Hard realization. But life has to go on… and i

  1. Have to learn to contain myself (which would be having an almost killing effect on me – given the expressive person that i am) and mask my emotions & expressions! :(
  2. Have to learn to talk less! Mask More! (More than any logical reasoning one gives me, me & my style could simply be a threat to the long time pond dwellers!) – Roughly put, its hard to convince me in an argument/discussion unless i really really see the value! :(
  3. Have to draw the long pending tough line of separation between work & life and learn to live with it! Work has been the key driving factor so long in my career and life. Now this heartbreaking separation has to be done, to keep me sane and not to *be reactive*! my foot! :(
  4. Have to learn to fall in line with the flow, and allow myself to accept the idiosyncrasies and selfish attitudes driven by lack of sincerity and morality that am surrounded around! Not being a salmon anymore but one in the mass of a tuna shoal! (Ya, ya, but with the kind of shoal lacking the goodness / purpose of the need to be shoaling!)

All of a sudden i feel … terribly… Lonely! Is this another learning curve in life?

A Fish out of place!

A Fish almost heart broken and out of Water!

or…

remembering Tevye and his dialogues with god in  the fiddler on the roof…

Sometimes I wonder, when it gets too quiet up there, if You are thinking, "What kind of mischief can I play on My friend Tevye?

I know, I know. I am your chosen puppet. But, once in a while, can't You choose someone else?

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